December, 2007

Getting Personal

By Using Stories 1 Comment

Hi Persuader,

In business, we have rules of decorum, obviously, but I am of the opinion that some rules were meant to be bent. Not broken entirely, but molded and bent to suit your persuasive needs.

Part of “professional decorum” is not getting “too personal”. But I contend that personal is exactly what people crave.

Storytelling is an art, as much of life is. Being creative within the context of a business relationship is an amazing way to make and keep lifelong clients and customers.

Something that creates a sense of rapport in a very fast and powerful way is the statement, ‘Let me share a secret with you. . .’ Hmm. A secret? Doesn’t everyone want to know a secret? Doesn’t it make you feel “special” to know that you’re about to be one of the special few that will know this information?

Working ‘secrets’ and personal anecdotes (nothing absurd, but definitely pointed and geared toward the matter at hand) speeds up our client’s and prospect’s trust in us as the answer to their needs.

In seminars I often share personal stories from my youth. I have even been known to really open up about some mistakes I’ve made in the past as they relate to persuasion in terms of not really completely understanding that honesty and integrity have always got to be the highest things on the list. These are very difficult stories for me to recount because I’m not particularly proud of tactics I used as a young man. It’s not pleasant to relate things that I feel are real blotches on my personal inventory. And yet, because I have learned from my past, overcome incongruencies in my way of existing in the world, a little discomfort can be endured because I’m making a point, teaching a lesson on what to do and what *not* to do.

When I get into the more personal aspects of teaching like this, I also make sure to step outside of the first person and enter into a meta state to explain how this personal storytelling can really be an art.

When you think about it, you can be an artist at nearly anything. You can be an artist at creating amazing friendships. You can be an artist in business. You can be an artist of persuasion. Some of our creativity within certain arenas is natural. . . we’ve got it to start with and we can make magical things happen as a result of it. Other things are learned. I wasn’t born the persuader I am today. I have put years and years into my art and each and every day I wake up and realize what all that hard work has done for me.

My suggestion. . . find a personal story that relates to your business and start relating it to your prospects and clients. Watch how this quickens rapport and trust by magnitudes. We all crave a good story.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Realigning Your Thoughts For Unselfconscious Affluence

By Self Persuasion No Comments

Hi Persuader,

In a previous article, I asked for your stories on overcoming blockages to abundance and affluence but I didn’t give any exercises for those of you who may have not yet overcome these blockages.

One idea is to use the tapping method of EFT which I describe in ‘Tap Into Freedom‘. This technique yields phenomenal results for a vast array from phobias to sorrows, habits to negativity.

Another suggestion is to really polish your universes and include in them affirmative statements about your status, your relationship to affluence and your affluent clientele, about your confidence, about your public persona, about your business persona and about your personal feelings of worthiness and deservedness.

Next to EFT, I credit my universes (as well as a fair amount of intention, dedication and skinless chicken breasts on top of spinach) with having shed over 140 pounds. And let me assure you, I used all of the techniques I teach on myself.

If you find that these two exercises have a degree of success but are still plagued with some negativity, try placing a rubber band around your wrist and whenever you experience a negative, nasty, insecure thought, snap that rubber band as hard as you can handle, and replace that negativity with something positive.

In a recent post I talked about cleaning out your attic, the fundamentals of forgiveness and really letting go of the things that hold us back. An example of this for the student I mentioned in my last article, would be to forgive their father for instilling in them a huge fear of scarcity and a somewhat unhealthy relationship to affluence and abundance. Clear it out. Bring it to the dump because Goodwill doesn’t want it. It’s absolute garbage.

As if that’s not enough to get you started. . . How about ‘Trying On Someone Else’s Skin’? When you are metaphorically inside your affluent prospect or client, you have absolutely no room for self-consciousness because you’re not ‘yourself’, you’re them.

Or maybe ‘Surrounding Ourselves with Pink Bubbles‘ might be a good trigger for you.

Ultimately, if you’re really concentrating on your persuasion, your rapport building, criteria elicitation, and really, truly focusing on your prospect, I dare say, you don’t really have much time to experience very much self-consciousness.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Unselfconscious Affluence

By Persuading the Affluent 3 Comments

Hi Persuader,

We didn’t all grow up affluent. I know for a fact that several of my students, in fact, are literally rags to riches stories. Through single-minded perseverance, intention, education, hard work, and maybe a little luck, they have created financial universes for themselves that are quite enviable and outstanding.

But what obstacles internally needed to be overcome to attain an unselfconscious relationship with affluence and their super affluent clientele? It’s so individualized a journey. Many people who grew up in poverty, once they’ve attained a degree of comfort still cannot let go of their fear of scarcity. One example of this came from a student whose father grew up during the depression and, as if that weren’t difficult enough, became an orphan at the age of thirteen.

His father’s feelings of guilt at the loss of his mother, his being accustomed to having very little, and then feeling the shame of ‘charity’ in the form of foster parents stayed with him despite his success in later life as a business owner, general contractor and property owner in the very advantageous market of the Bay Area in the 70s and 80s.

So my student grew up with a beautiful house, always had a refrigerator full of food, always had the clothes and necessities of life, and even had his hobbies indulged to an extent. But his father’s ‘tightness’ with money which was seemingly so free flowing, created a real conflict in him in relation to money and this conflict has resulted in very real obstacles in how my student interacts with his affluent clientele. He, despite all his comfort in life, developed a real scarcity fear as well which in turn creates a social and class self-consciousness.

Unfortunately, this social self-consciousness thwarts a fluid relationship with affluence and the affluent and it definitely needs to be overcome.

The first step is coming to the realization that there is no shame in abundance, there is no scarcity of affluence and there is no social self-consciousness that can’t be overcome. Think about it. If we are, as I truly believe, here on this planet to learn and thrive, we need to redirect whatever shame has held us back into a new signal.

And once we are right with ourselves, our social confidence, no matter what income level, will skyrocket and we will be able to very naturally enter into any social or business interaction with ease.

I would love to hear your stories of any struggles you’ve endured in your relationship to affluence, any success stories of how social ‘standing’ or ‘position’ held you back and how you reframed yourself as completely worthy of absolutely everything, and what exercises or strategies you used to attain this level of comfort with affluence.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Tap Into Freedom

By Self Persuasion 9 Comments

Hi Persuader,

I credit part of my new physique to the tapping techniques of EFT. I love to teach people how to tap their way to emotional freedom and if you’ve ever been in one of my coaching groups or at one of my seminars, you’ll already be familiar with how to perform this method.

I wouldn’t start out with something huge, like 180 pounds of weight loss or a cessation of smoking. Start with something less entrenched. Start with maybe a phobia of spiders or clowns, or a discomfort with crowds or parties (unless these are incredibly severe). Try to choose one that feels do-able just to start with.

Once you’ve identified a problem, then think of the feeling it creates and measure the strength of the emotion. Give it a rating from 0-10, 0 being no strength at all, 1 being weakest, 10 being strongest.

Once you’ve given it a rating you’re going to tap.

Find the point on the side of your hand you would hit if you were doing a karate chop; it’s the fleshy part below the pinky finger and above the wrist. Then you’re going to say the set-up statement to correct reversals and you’re going to do it three times.

That’s what you do. You’re going to tap and say a statement. This tapping along with the statement will resolve reversals.

The statement is very, very simple. And if you like, it can be radically embellished upon. But just learn it first and foremost in its simplistic form.

And it is this: “Even though I have this (name the issue, problem, phobia, negativity, deep personal flaw. . . just kidding) I deeply and completely love myself.” You’re going to fill in the blank with the problem you identified in step one.

Let’s say that you procrastinate making the phone calls you need to make. You’d say, “Even though I procrastinate making the phone calls I need to make, I deeply and completely love myself.”

So try it.

Take your left hand, extend it out in front of you, take your right hand with the three fingers–your index, your middle and your ring finger–and begin tapping on that karate chop point on your hand, tap, tap, tap, tap and say the following: “Even though I procrastinate making the calls I need to make to customers, I deeply and completely love myself.” “Even though I procrastinate making the calls I need to make to customers, I deeply and completely love myself.” “Even though I procrastinate making the calls I should be making to customers, I deeply and completely love myself.”

Now, there’s a ‘choreography’ so to speak, for the remainder of this exercise.

Above the eyebrow. To the side of the eye. Under the eye. Upper lip. Chin. Collarbone. Under the arm. This is the order we’re going to go in, and we’re going to tap each a few times while repeating the problem. ‘Procrastination in making customer calls.’ Tap above the eye. Tap, tap, tap. ‘Procrastination in making customer calls.’ Side of the eye. Tap, tap, tap. ‘Procrastination in making customer calls.’ Under the eye. Tap, tap, tap. ‘Procrastination in making customer calls.’ Upper lip. Tap, tap, tap. ‘Procrastination in making customer calls.’ Chin. Tap, tap, tap. ‘Procrastination in making customer calls.’ Collarbone. Tap, tap, tap. ‘Procrastination in making customer calls.’ Under the arm. Tap, tap, tap.

After one or two passes, see where you rate the problem. Has it moved? Improved? Disappeared completely?

Continue to tap until you’ve zeroed out the problem and guess what? You’re done. People ask, does this last forever? Well, odds are, yes. But what if it doesn’t? How about spending another three or four minutes to get rid of it again?

If you’ve been tapping a while, I would love it if you’d share your success stories. Please comment, comment, comment.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hard Work is Not the Answer: Intention Is

By Self Persuasion 1 Comment

You must not only aim right, but draw the bow with all your might.” –Henry David Thoreau

Hi Persuader,

I have a friend who I’m going to call Joe for anonymity’s sake. He is one of the hardest working men I have ever known. Joe is unbelievably intelligent, talented, knowledgeable on a wide variety of subjects, and physically strong. On top of that, he works long hours and doesn’t seem to mind it. Joe also drives an old used truck and works for a paltry hourly wage-not minimum wage-but close.

Why is a man of such obvious attributes always struggling to make end’s meet?

I operate under the assumption that we all have the capacity to get what we want. The only determination: what are you willing do to make it happen? The “doing”, unfortunately, isn’t enough. If it were, my friend Joe would be very successful because he does a lot.

What does it really take? I can tell you hard work is not the answer. I can tell you who you know is not the answer, although it helps. If you happen to be good buddies with Donald Trump you tend to probably have a few extra deals come your way if you’re in the league to be able to take advantage of them, but I’ll tell you right now that it’s what you know, it’s working smart, not hard, it’s taking the ability to go from a desire to get ahead and a willingness to work, to being able to take what it is that you know and leveraging it for money.

People think that it’s the doing that counts. They think, I need to work really hard. I need to come up with good ideas. What about my buddy who works hard but never gets anywhere ever? What’s wrong? Is he stupid? Does he just have bad luck? Was he born under a wrong sign? No. It’s none of those things in my opinion. If it boiled down to ‘the doing’, my buddy would be rich. What it does boil down to is ‘the being’. That’s the key.

What is it then? Well, if you are a painter and you believe that you are a manual laborer and that you’ll never have the ability to run your own business, guess what? You’ll always be a painter and you’ll never run your own business. How much money can you make? Well, as much money as you can afford to get yourself booked out time-wise until your health runs out, I guess.

Intention speaks to the issue of do, have, be. Most people have it backwards. Your intention needs to start off with who you really are, not with what you do.

Most people have it as ‘do’ what it is that you need to really get ahead in life so that you’ll ‘have’ what it is that you want and then you’ll ‘be’ a success in life. Do, have, be is the order most people put it in and that’s absolutely wrong. It’s just plain and simple wrong.

The correct order is be, do, have. You first must ‘be’ the person who is a business person or who is a successful sales person or who is happily married and once you are that person, then you will ‘do’ what a happily married or rich or successful person does so that one day you can ‘have’ what those people have and you have become one of them.

That’s the proper answer and the first step to all of that is to set your intention to be that person. The key is, though, intention doesn’t just help set things in motion, it helps keep things in motion and moreover when we get good at it, it helps direct us to higher and higher levels of success and higher levels of the use of persuasion skills. That’s why we work so diligently to make sure our intention is set first so that it helps prod our words and our gestures and our behavior to see when we’re missing the mark even before consciously we’re aware of it.

Intention is why I’m so passionate about the ‘universe’ work we do because when we create our universes, when we write down what we are and what we have, we become those things in our visions of the future then we become them in actuality.

I’d love it if you would share your universe stories on the forum. What has been your experience with creating your universes? How has your life changed as a result of setting down on paper your intention to fulfill every dream, wish and desire in every facet of your life?

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Page 1 / 2