The Answers to Your Insightful Questions

By Kenrick Cleveland May 6th, 2011 Announcements, Language Patterns 21 Comments

You Guys Rock – all you JEDI Warriors! I am so impressed with the quality of questions that have been rolling in. In case you missed the webinar and transcript, you can still download it

http://darkside.s3.amazonaws.com/Webinar.zip

When you are done reading the answers, please leave a comment or question. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Q & A

I can’t understand how asking the question or something similar to… “what used to be true but no longer is” could be used in any conversation. It seems like it wouldn’t be congruent with the communication and context unless your were in a therapy type setting.

How do you get around that? -Jay

You know how magicians (close up magic with coins, cards, ropes etc.) always have a story to tell as they start their routine? Every wondered why?

Ever watched a stage hypnotist? Ever watched the same person 4 or 5 times? If you did, you would find that they follow the same “patter”, the same way of doing things. Heck, I used to do the same thing when I started. It’s also why sales people follow scripts – it’s because they are relatively sure they will get everything in and pretty much in the right order (or so they think).

We can learn a lot from magicians and hypnotists. We can learn to use stories to distract the attention of the person and do what we want to do. We can also learn to use junk-o-logic to our advantage. To do this, we purport to show something of value to the person if they’ll but permit us a couple of questions.

Such as this: Listen, one of the things I most enjoy is helping someone truly know what the best thing for them is. Cause either way, this can be the start of something great between us where by any time you have a need to know something in this field, you can always turn to me for the answer. And right now, I’d like to show you something if you would permit me… something that I think will amaze you. I’m going to ask you two questions and you’ll be amazed at what you will learn. First, what is something that is no longer true but used to be…

You get the idea, right?

Remember, it is in the comfort you can learn to have in setting up situations like this that you will influence more people, more easily. Get comfortable asking questions and digging around where others are afraid to go. Your persuasion ability will soar

I’m a little confused about how to find out the location of “what’s no longer true that used to be”. How do we get this info from someone? Thanks Kenrick! -Jill

Believe it or not, you just ask. But if you do so with the expectation that they will answer, all the better.

If they act confused, you can point out that for example when people are sad they often look down and when they are happy they look up. Ever wonder what they are looking at? Well, they are looking at pictures and feeling feelings of past events or even imagined events. For example, if you think of a house you used to live in but don’t any more, you can do that, right? And if you compare that to where you live right now, how do you tell them apart? Point to the old house. Now point to where you live now. Ok, when you think of the old house, you are sure that you used to live there but now you don’t any longer, right? (As you say that, you point to where the picture of the old house is, where they pointed.)

To further answer your question, don’t get caught up in the location. Just get them to identify the feeling. You can point anywhere to anchor it. Just point to the same place each time.

Sometimes {and I know I am like this} I am not sure where something is so do not think I could point at the location. Would it work just to watch someone’s eyes as they were describing the event “that was once true and no longer is” and then point to where they were looking? Nice to hear your programs again -Ray

Absolutely. Read my answer above and add pointing to where they are looking, to it. The bottom line is you are getting them to associate a belief of no longer true, to a point you point at in space.

Thank you for making me aware of this pattern; hopefully I will be aware when someone attempts to use this pattern and be able to defend myself. As far as using this pattern I suspect I have not advanced far enough with persuasion to be effective in a positive manner. So my question is which of your courses would bring me up to speed to this level? I always appreciate your commitment to using persuasion with integrity and that is why I do my best to follow every call and continue to use the program I originally purchased from MaxPersuasion. Thank you. -Thomas

Well, Thomas, you are well on your way to be able to keep people from using this one against you. As to learning to use it, stay tuned, I think I’ll be able to help with that.

I can see how this will in improve my Coaching business 100%. Could this be used on the phone? without the pointing direction? (covertly)? -Desmond

Excellent, a budding Jedi warrior. Yes, it absolutely can. I would do so using a change in your voice for each. Then when reminding them about one or the other, use that same tone of voice. Great question.

I’d like to know how to install good, positive attitudes in people… like when I’m teaching a group of young men in a scout troop, for instance. These persuasion skills are great for sales and I think could be great for teaching and training. -John

(Speaking to the scout troop)… What is something that is no longer true but used to be. For example, you used to want little toy cars and now you graduated to wanting a cool remote car… something like that. Think about it. For me, I think about in the past, all I wanted to do was watch TV instead of get into the woods and experience nature. Now I love it. So when I think about just sitting a watching TV, I see it here (point) and immediately think that this is no longer true, but used to be.

So all of you come up with something? If so, shout it out – ready 1, 2, 3_____________. Great, now point tpo where this thing that is no longer true for you but used to be, is. (you point again to you spot).

Excellent, now, when I point like this (point to your spot), I want you to point to your spot and think, no longer true but used to be. Ready, go (point).

Great, now, I’d like us to think about our upcoming weekend. To really have fun, we all must relax and have fun. Imagine for a moment that there is something that you are nervous about that prevents you from just relaxing and having fun. (point at your spot) and say, and just notice how it is no longer true and you can’t wait to relax and have fun.

You can apply this to whatever you need. Hopefully you get the idea.

First off, how can I immerse myself in your techniques. Secondly, how would this technique be included in a typical business conversation. I can imagine the prospect thinking… “why the heck would you want to know if there is something that used to be true, but not true anymore?” Thanks, and hopefully you are building us up to introduce a fantastic new product or reintroduce a product. Thanks Kenrick! -Scott

To answer your first question, you need to role play this in your own head. Work on coming up with every possible eventuality you can. In so doing, you learn the ins and outs of this. In real life, when you become aware of a chance to use it, you’ll be far more capable.

Another way is to use Learning State Sessions to help install the information more quickly. I’ve given some of these with my live programs and some of my recorded ones as well. And I intend to do more. They work to make the learning much easier and quicker.

Hey Kenrick, Are hand gestures important when you are elicitating their no longer true, i mean “pointing to my right = their left”? Thanks – Neil

In a word, no. It’s more important that you elicit a response for something they are sure is no longer true but used to be.

I think you were saying that the use of the pattern is simply asking the questions about identifying and then pointing to it (either literally or figuratively). Is that all it takes to install it in that place? The act of pointing? or implying the pointing? -Scott

The pointing is the anchor. It secures it for your use. Using it means to point and fire off that anchor when talking about what you want them to think is no longer true. Example, a competitors offer is better, the desire to think about it etc, etc.

As powerful as this is, there is quite a bit of additional material that would make it easier for you to know when/how to use this. For example, it would probably be better to use other patters to set this up effectively. But the nice thing is that even if you just use this, you will start to get good results and learn when and how to use it better.

Hello Kenrick, Thank you for the great info. Seems really easy. I want to use this on myself. Let’s say i am having trouble learning a new skill and it has grown into doubt, frustration and the like. I find something in my past that is no longer true, a good one with a strong sense that I am really happy that it is no longer true. Then I take this doubt frustration and the like and put there. Good so far? Then how would I install the good in it’s place? Find something that I learned or achieved before and now know and can do and put the pos ideas about the skill I’m tryin to learn in that place or is there a better way to install it? Well thank you again for the great info and take care sir. – Greg

Exactly. Spot on. You might also experiment with, “something that is absolutely true”. Like the law of gravity – but the more meaningful it is to you, the better.

Thanks great as always. Did I get it right that it doesn’t matter where I point, as long as it’s anchored that way? -Henrik

You sure did. You are absolutely right.

By saying dark side 1, you are presupposing dark side 2… This makes my life complete – PJ

In the Dark Side 1, all their is, is about an hour or so of information on destructive patterns. But I didn’t talk about what would be needed to clean yourself up if ever you had been a victim of any of these, nor how to use them (and other related skills) if you felt you need to defend yourself, nor many other things that would make you far more capable to use advanced patterns in dark ways (or light) to get what you want. There is so much that needs to be said. Has the time come for Dark Side II? We’ll see.

Quite a lot f the things you teach seem t have associations with more metaphysical or perhaps energy oriented stuff, Do you ever address the concept of projecting energy, using what could be interpereted as energy based tools directly without the NLP angle? -Eddy

Yes I do. Interesting timing that question.

Eddy continues – From what I have read of your work on the net, you seem to have a good grasp of the other side of life so to speak, and it reflects in your teachings.

You’re right, I do. Thanks for noticing.

Eddy again: How much of therapeutic intervention do you think is down to the language, and how much to intention and the energy that is focused behind your words? I sometimes think that intention and focused thought / energy account for the majority of it, especially as you become more skilful. Many thanks for the webinar.

It for sure all starts with the thoughts and energy. A whole lot can be done with that. The words actually help us to zero in our energy even better – they work like a feedback loop, one enhances the other.

Great questions and comments.

Can I use this on myself, knowing that it is a “mind trick”; How can I use this to get rid of low self-esteem and then install feelings of self-love and high self-worth? After listening to the end of the call, I don’t want to get rid of anything until I know how to install a positive thought afterwards. – Lisa

I have so much to say on this but here, I’ll keep it short. First, this not really a mind trick. It is a reality. A trick is something that isn’t real (a disappearing woman, a body cut in two done by a magician, etc.) This is as real as your memory and ability to think.

Next, don’t worry so much about not getting rid of something until you can install something else. You won’t break. If something comes in to fill the void that you don’t like, you can just get rid of that too. And if you read my other responses, I talk a bit about installing things.

I was and am fascinated by the unbelievable power of this stuff. I must admit that I am the first one that should use this on myself. I have to lose some weight, to get healthier. I have ordered one of your courses and i never finished it. I wonder how to do some of this stuff. I will have to listen again to get the full idea and effect of how this stuff works. Thank you for sharing. I will listen to this again, maybe twice. I wanted to get some thoughts on paper before you pulled this material. Thank you for your continued kindness and sharing – Jerry

It is fascinating. After more than 30 years of studying, teaching and working with this material, it still fascinates me.

When you think of how you need to change physically, and you think of things that have stopped you in the past, is there now starting to be similarities between those things and what you know is no longer true but used to be… until they are one and the same? And if you lock a picture of the new you right into your mind, where what you are sure about is, do you think it will help as you take action each day to move in that direction. Remember you don’t need perfection, just need to have the balance of your day be 51% in the right direction. That’s all it takes to progress.

And yes, listen over and over. Advance your knowledge. That’s how to do it.

I’m in financial sales and this techniques appears to be useful in overcoming objections. When I’m with a prospect/client, how do I nonchalantly bring up “something that used to be true but is no longer true” discussion so that it is part of the conversation? Otherwise it comes off as peculiar and irrelevant. – Tim

It is incredibly useful in financial sales. We have a good number of advisers in our coaching program.

The question isn’t so much how do you nonchalantly bring it up, because this presupposes that you have to hide this. I suggest thinking about this like hiding in the open. Read my responses on how to bring this up and you’ll get a good idea.

The other thing is, you are far better off learning to use other covert methods to direct the conversation in such a way that the person eliminates anything other than what you want them to conclude, but believe it is their idea. I may have a way to help you learn more about these things.

Don’t forget to leave a comment or question.  Just fill out the box below and click submit.

Assigning Blame: Use With Caution

By kim June 15th, 2010 Advanced Persuasion, Language Patterns 1 Comment

Dear Persuader,

In a previous article I talked about using the term ‘everything happens for a reason’ to utilize the trust that many people have in this concept. I also wrote about superstition and the concept that ‘there are no accidents’ which happens to be a very powerful persuasion tool, and if you’ve read those two articles and attempted to implement the learning into your life, you already know what I mean about power.

Well, assigning blame is the other side of the ‘everything happens for a reason’/’there are no accidents’ coin. Wherein both of these concepts use our prospect’s belief in an ordered, equitable universe, assigning blame uses a common enemy as a means to persuade.

Better hang on here if you are religiously oriented because I’m going to shake the tree just a little bit here. (Disclaimer: My intention is never to intrude on anyone’s beliefs or practices because I vehemently believe in Freedom of Religion and to me, this extends to spiritual practice of all kind. But, like it or not, religion and spirituality are intertwined with everything in life and I use the examples below to teach persuasion, not to push my beliefs or dissuade yours.)

In group theory, there’s a lot of discussion about enemies, common enemies. One of the greatest ways you can ever use to bond a group is for them to have a common enemy.

Let’s start with Christianity as an example. What’s the common enemy of Christianity? Well, you probably know right off the top of your head, it’s the devil. How is this installed in Christians from an early age?  Well, we start saying things like, ‘We as humans are born into a world of sin and the mere act of being born causes us to not be able to get into the life hereafter until and unless we accept Jesus as our savior.’

That’s pretty intense. Let’s look at the enemy. The enemy is, just being born, because we’re born into sin. Who’s responsible for that? The devil.

This is a great tool. I heard someone say many years ago, ‘The devil is the best friend the Christian ever had because without him, there would be no need for a savior.’ Think about the word ‘savior’. Savior implies someone needs saving. And if you’re born into sin, you in fact do need saving.

Again, I’m not debating any of this. In fact, I’m kind of being the devil’s advocate here, so to speak, because I’m literally standing back and removing my own beliefs just to point out to you what’s going on so you can see this.

Now does it mean, by the way, having a common enemy is a bad thing? No, I think common enemies are great things. But one has to be careful and responsible. Is it responsible of a Christian to say that the devil’s a common enemy? Absolutely.

Also note the advantage of pointing at a common enemy that you can’t see, you can’t hear, and in fact, even humanities basic drives and desires can be attributed to the influence of this being? It’s pretty amazing. (From my previous article ‘Very Superstitious’, can see how this might fit into the definition of ‘superstition’?)

We have an inherent need to assign blame. In fact, it’s so fundamental to the core of who we are that everybody does this.

How about a political example? How about the ‘War on Terror’ or the ‘War on Poverty’? It’s virtually impossible to argue that anyone is for ‘terror’ or ‘poverty’.  These are cultural common enemies. Terror and poverty, however, are concepts, not actual, tangible physical groups against which a war can be won, but notice how insanely powerful as enemies.  If winning a ‘war’ against a concept were possible, I’d sign up and fight.

So I’m contrasting ‘things happen for a reason’ with ‘blame.’ So at our core, we look to assign fault.

A word of warning: I wouldn’t dwell in the land of negativity, it’s like a double-edged sword. It cuts going and coming. Be very careful.

Kenrick

PS… Be sure and post your comments to the blog.

Everything Happens for a Reason

By kim June 8th, 2010 Advanced Persuasion, Language Patterns 5 Comments

Dear Persuader,

Last week I got a call from an acquaintance of mine. He said, ‘Remember that conversation we had about Africa a few weeks ago? Well, I just checked my e-mail and you won’t believe it. I won an international lottery originating in Africa.  You know, I’m just convinced everything happens for a reason, don’t you think?’

I thought for a few moments and I responded, ‘You know, I think you’re right. Everything does happen for a reason and really it’s a good thing that we’re talking right now.’ I went on to explain that I personally win probably three or four international lotteries a day and none of them are real.

I got to thinking about this conversation and I realized that people look for supporting evidence for what they want in their environment. In this case, here he was remembering our conversation, then he received an e-mail talking about winning a lottery from Africa and somehow he kind of put two and two together in a way that didn’t add up. That’s when he began talking about everything happening for a reason.

Unfortunately, I had to burst the bubble in order to keep him safe, but the point of it is why did he use that language? This language pattern is going to knock your socks off and enable you to influence and persuade in a very deep and profound way.

Why do people look for supporting evidence for what they want in their environment? Oftentimes they do this because our world is very unstable. Whenever there’s a tremendous lack of stability, with everything kind of up in the air, people start turning to religion, they start turning to God, they start turning to spirituality and they become more superstitious.

As I explain this pattern to you, please understand, my goal is to break things down in a way that gives us tremendous power with our language, our words and persuasion, and in so doing, help you to have more success in your life. That’s my purpose in this discussion. If you don’t believe in God, or you’re not a spiritual person, my point is not to influence you towards or away from anything except towards a language pattern or away from not being as successful as you like, that you’ll be able to use these patterns for your benefit and for the benefit of your clients.

When I said, ‘everything does happen for a reason’ it means that I’m alluding to something more than simply what he’s just referred to and that’s really important that he understood. Then I went on to say, ‘Good thing we’re talking’. Again, this implies that there’s perhaps something more than what he was just thinking about. That set the stage for me to have entry into his mind and to help him to understand the difficulty that he was about to face.

People look for supporting evidence for what they want in their environment and I believe it’s our job to give it to them. There are language patterns that are in the popular lexicon right now that we can use to our advantage very powerfully.

When we hear these things we can use them to our advantage powerfully, and I mean, really powerfully. For example, saying ‘things happen for a reason’ supports what you want to happen.

Let’s say you’re an advisor and you’re talking with someone, and they say something positive like, ‘Wow, it’s a good thing that I’m talking with you here today because I feel like I’m really getting somewhere in my learning, in my understanding of how all this works.’ And your response could be, ‘Fantastic, after all, there are no accidents, right?’

Is that a stretch to say? I don’t think it’s a stretch for anybody, no matter what our belief system is. After all, everything happens for a reason, it’s just a matter of whether or not it’s a reason you like.

No language pattern is an island and our goal as persuaders is to layer pattern upon pattern and these patterns piece together a deeper sense of reality when you do this right, what you’re going to be doing is using all sorts of these patterns at high speed.

To your success!

Kenrick

PS… Don’t forget to post your thoughts and comments on the blog.

Bound To Buy: The Use of Binds in Persuasion

By Kenrick Cleveland November 10th, 2009 Advanced Persuasion, Language Patterns 5 Comments

In today’s issue, you’ll learn about a fascinating tool that will allow you to amp up the ease in which you can persuade someone.

Binds are a fascinating strategy in persuasion which should be used sparingly (especially in writing), a little ‘persuasion seasoning’ so to speak.

Binds are language patterns and like all language patterns there’s a formula.

For single binds there are two formulas: the first is, ‘if X, Y’ and the second is ‘the more you X, the more you Y.’

As a general rule, the X will be a pace (something that is verifiably true) but it can also include a suggestion or a challenge, and the Y will be a lead, how you want them to think or respond but they’re not currently doing, necessarily. (For more on pacing and leading, stay tuned.)

In other words, you can think of X as the set up, and Y is the punch line.

‘If you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds, you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor.’

Okay. . .that’s a pretty obvious example. Very transparent, I know, but you see that the first part of the sentence ‘if you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds’ is a suggestion or challenge, and ‘you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor’ is the lead, what I want you to do which you may not currently be doing.

Here’s another example: ‘The more you read what I’m explaining, the more you’ll understand the power of using it.’

Let’s break that down a little. The more you read about something, i.e. the more you read about using binds, the more you will understand how powerful they are to use. Is this true? Possibly. I think it is. But it’s more of a presupposition than it is solid, hard, cold fact.

Binds do not have to in any way make sense or be logical.

For example: ‘The more you hear about this piece of property, the more you will be compelled to buy it.’ Is that logical? Not necessarily. In other words, hearing a lot about something doesn’t compel people to buy. Hearing the right things about something might compel someone to buy, but the suggestion here is that that there is a logical link between hearing about the property and being compelled to buy it. You’re creating that link, you’re creating the truth, and you’re making it so in their minds.

Here’s where we start to get into some really interesting ways of using this. ‘The more you try and object, the more you will find yourself going along with these ideas.’

What are we really doing here? We’re issuing a challenge. The more you try and do something we don’t want you to do, the more you’ll find yourself doing what we want you to do.

Here’s another one: ‘The more you want to feel good about yourself, the more you’ll need to act now on this proposal.’

You might say, ‘Kenrick, you can’t just say that to people.’ Well, yes I can. And I do. And it works great. It helps if you make them sound natural. And it also helps to understand them and the related strategies that can make their acceptance even better.

My advice: write some samples out before you try using this technique. It is something that needs to be delivered smoothly or you will get an odd reaction.

Questions? Comments? Login to the blog and let me know.

Bound To Buy: The Use of Binds in Persuasive Sales

By Kenrick Cleveland March 12th, 2008 Advanced Persuasion, Language Patterns 3 Comments

Hi Persuader,

Binds are a fascinating strategy in persuasion which should be used sparingly, a little ‘persuasion seasoning’ so to speak.

Binds are language patterns and like all language patterns there’s a formula.

For single binds there are two formulas: the first is, ‘if X, Y’ and the second is ‘the more you X, the more you Y.’

As a general rule, the X will be a pace (something that is verifiably true) but it can also include a suggestion or a challenge, and the Y will be a lead, how you want them to think or respond but they’re not currently doing, necessarily. (For more on pacing and leading, stay tuned.)

In other words, you can think of X as the set up, and Y is the punch line.

‘If you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds, you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor.’

Okay. . .that’s a pretty obvious example. Very transparent, I know, but you see that the first part of the sentence ‘if you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds’ is a suggestion or challenge, and ‘you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor’ is the lead, what I want you to do which you may not currently be doing.

Here’s another example: ‘The more you read what I’m explaining, the more you’ll understand the power of using it.’

Let’s break that down a little. The more you read about something, i.e. the more you read about using binds, the more you will understand how powerful they are to use. Is this true? Possibly. I think it is. But it’s more of a presupposition than it is solid, hard, cold fact.

Binds do not have to in any way make sense or be logical.

For example: ‘The more you hear about this piece of property, the more you will be compelled to buy it.’

Is that logical? Not necessarily. In other words, hearing a lot about something doesn’t compel people to buy. Hearing the right things about something might compel someone to buy, but the suggestion here is that that there is a logical link between hearing about the property and being compelled to buy it. You’re creating that link, you’re creating the truth, and you’re making it so in their minds.

Here’s where we start to get into some really interesting ways of using this. ‘The more you try and object, the more you will find yourself going along with these ideas.’

What are we really doing here? We’re issuing a challenge. The more you try and do something we don’t want you to do, the more you’ll find yourself doing what we want you to do.

Here’s another one: ‘The more you want to feel good about yourself, the more you’ll need to act now on this proposal.’

You might say, ‘Kenrick, you can’t just say that to people.’ Well, yes I can. And I do. And it works great.

My advice: write some samples out before you try using this technique. It is something that needs to be delivered smoothly or you will get an odd reaction.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland