Dear Persuader,
Apparently, someone went to Indonesia and interviewed some of President Obama’s old friends.
The Times relates a story from one of his old friends that some might say presaged the future.
One time, recalled the elder son, Slamet Januadi, now 52, Mr. Obama asked a group of boys whether they wanted to grow up to be president, a soldier or a businessman. A president would own nothing while a soldier would possess weapons and a businessmen would have money, the young Obama explained.
Mr. Januadi and his younger brother, both of whom later joined the Indonesian military, said they wanted to become soldiers. Another boy, a future banker, said he would become a businessman.
“Then Barry (Obama) said he would become president and order the soldier to guard him and the businessman to use his money to build him something,” Mr. Januadi said. “We told him, ‘You cheated. You didn’t give us those details.’ “
“But we all became what we said we would,” he said.
Ok, so what do you think? Did this story point to the future?
Here are some persuasion points.
1. If you stick with something long enough, you greatly enhance the probability of succeeding.
2. You have to know what you want. Stated another way, you have to have a target. How will you know when you have succeeded without a goal? Yet another way… you won’t know when you’ve arrived if you don’t know where you are going. President Obama knew early on and kept going until…
3. In persuading others a very simple strategy of continuing to hold strong to what you want can work. But, it doesn’t always work. You may have to retreat to fight again another day. Study Chinese Stratagem #36 for more on this.
4. How you frame something i.e. the details you put in and the ones you leave out, as well as “the angle you are filming from” dramatically effect how your message is received. Give some thought to how you are framing your message.
5. Logic, in it’s various forms, including pseudo, inductive and deductive are potent powers that can boost your ability to get people to do what you want. They can be used as traps for the minds of others. Look at what then young Obama put in, left out and the logic that was sprung on his friends with the close of the story.
The last thought I’ll leave you with is something my Father told me when I was young. “Dad, why did you choose to minor in History? What can you do with that to make money or get work.” He said, “Well son, there’s an old saying that says, people that don’t know the past are doomed to repeat it.”
Another way to say it is, knowing a person’s past helps us judge what they might do in the future. Now when you project your thoughts to the future, what do you envision might happen given this story?
Be Sure and let me know your thoughts by posting to the blog.
Kenrick
“That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Dear Persuader,
I had a dream about shoes last night. Shoes have always been sort of an issue for me because I have large feet and it hasn’t always been easy to find ones that fit me (especially before the internet existed and before I had the means to have custom made shoes). This dream was about a quest for the perfect pair and it began with the frustration of never being comfortable, having blisters, feeling exhausted at the end of the day, having to loosen the laces after a few hours, really being miserable on a daily basis because my feet hurt like the dickens.
And then finally I experienced the excitement of finding a pair that fit perfectly and comfortably. Like Cinderella and the glass slipper, I went through ups and downs in this dream and it put me in mind of the Hero’s Journey and how anything we struggle with can be put to good use in the stories we bring into our persuasion.
It boils down to inspiration and relevance. What does your topic have to do with your business? What does it have to do with where you are today? Do you feel passionate about it? Is it topical and interesting?
My dream was very detailed. The shoes I eventually found molded perfectly to my feet and it felt like I was walking on air after I put them on my feet. There was no tightness or pressure.
I started out by telling you how much pain and frustration was involved and moved into the pleasure and satisfaction of finally finding a good fit. This outcome became more important because I started out by telling you about how uncomfortable my feet were at the beginning of the journey.
With your stories, your journeys from darkness to light, from poverty to affluence, from sorrow to happiness, from instability to security, you can give your prospects and clients glimpses into who you are and where you’ve come from to create the person you are now. A very useful side effect of this is that these glimpses into your inner workings create deeper rapport and an almost instant trust (if crafted well).
Did you become a financial advisor because your father died at a young age leaving your mother to struggle to support your family? Did you get into real estate because you grew up with a friend whose family lived in a small apartment? Did you make mistakes you’re not proud of but which taught you valuable lessons about honesty and integrity? Fill your stories with emotion and personal revelations and all those things which did not kill you, but made you stronger and more powerful and I can guarantee you that not only will they connect you deeper to your prospects, but they will connect you deeper with yourself.
Come up with a few stories and polish them. They can be one minute long, two minutes, five minutes, and they can be touching or humorous. The key is to link them back to you, your product, and your service.
Be sure to post your thoughts and comments… even your journey on the blog below.
Here’s to the hero in all of us.
Kenrick
Hi Persuader,
I’m so excited to be beginning a new chapter with my students. In the last month we’ve embarked on an amazing, transformative, and very practical journey together that starts with a pen and piece of paper (or for those of you who don’t know how to use a pen and piece of paper anymore in this world of iPhones and laptops — all you need is a blank Word document to get started).
I am basing this teaching on a multitude of research I’ve done over the last 30 years and some of the luminaries in the power of story such as Joseph Campbell and his work on the Hero’s Journey, and Dr. Jim Loehr (the chairman and CEO of The Human Performance Institute) in his book “The Power of Story”.
Our stories are unique tools in which we can harness our power of to affect those around us. This can be in business, sales, with employees, in seduction or with our spouses, with our children, and even with people we come into contact with in life either on the phone or in person — bank representatives, grocery store clerks, mechanics, police officers, our kid’s teachers.
All great speakers use stories. One of the main differences in the last election was Barack Obama’s ability to persuade (I’ve been saying for over a year that if the race were all about persuasion, Obama would win hands down). Another big difference was Obama’s knack for storytelling and how he was able maintain a narrative that was compelling. It’s a classic ‘rags to riches’ story and it resonated very deeply with many people who would not have otherwise voted for a democrat or who would not have otherwise been of the mind to vote for an African-American (for whatever reason).
Tony Robbins also has a ‘rags to riches’ story which he tells during his talks. (On a side note, when I entered ‘rags to riches‘ into Wikipedia, I found a fascinating list of celebrities and politicians who have the same basis for their stories.)
But even if you grew up middle class and haven’t struggled financially in life, you have a story and likely, a fascinating story. If you’re not where you want to be in life, if there’s something you haven’t achieved, then there is work to be done on your story.
In “The Power of Story” Dr. Loehr talks about how the stories we tell ourselves and others are oftentimes flawed and keep us locked into situations that are unsatisfying. By simply rewriting our stories, we can transform our lives. It’s a simple process, but by no means easy. It is deep work that has the potential to create a bit of upheaval in your life and the benefits will be immeasurable.
It’s time to evolve that story. So take that pen and paper and start with “you” and ask yourself these questions: Where am I going? How did it come to this? What do I want? What’s the meaning of my life?
This is the jumping off point. I’m right here with you. I’ve begun my journey and my students are beginning their journeys. If you have an interest in joining us in this learning, contact Kim at Maxpersuasion.
Until Next Time,
Kenrick E. Cleveland
Hi Persuader,
Lately I’ve been really exploring the power of stories in both my own learning and in my teaching. We all have a story with many story lines, interwoven throughout our lifetimes. This has been an incredible journey bringing up memories I thought were long gone. My story today has to do with setting little markers for yourself. When you have a goal, parsing off the route to this goal, helps make the steps manageable.
When I was a kid, my father and I went hiking on the Pacific Crest National Trail. We had big backpacks, food for two weeks, a topographical map (though we didn’t need it, but dad brought it for teaching purposes, I think), canteens, sleeping bags, a tent, and most importantly for me, blister pads. My dad carried with him a folding chair so that when we stopped at night, he’d have a comfortable place to sit. He dropped off our car quite some distance away and had somebody drive us to the trailhead and drop us off. We drove for half a day to be able to then hike this far over two weeks.
We started off at the top of a summit. As I stared off into the distance, I couldn’t believe how long it was going to take us to get back to our car. I remember thinking to myself, there’s no way we’re ever going to reach it. No human has ever walked so much. (We hadn’t gotten to the Lewis and Clark part of school by that point.)
The first day, every step hurt, I was miserable and couldn’t experience the beauty. After that we got into a rhythm. We would make little markers for ourselves, when I make it up that hill or to that tree, I get a sip of water.
Before I knew it, I was standing at the summit of one of the major hills that I had seen from our trailhead starting point. As I looked back at all the ground we had covered and I thought, I can do this. I looked at the map and thought, hey, we’re more than half way there. I can most definitely do this.
Another thing I strongly remember from this very long hike with my dad was that he entertained and probably distracted me with the storylines and a little bit of dialogue from the James Bond movies that had come out over the past few years, the mid to late-60s, of which we were both fans. So really, when I think back, I’m reliving multiple stories within the story of this special time with my dad and the wonderful life experience he gave me for those many miles.
These kinds of realizations started to sink in. I continue to use this process to look at how I can see things that seem insurmountable as merely stepping stones instead of a brick walls, and I realized, at that moment, the brick wall had become a summit.
Until Next Time,
Kenrick E. Cleveland
Hi Persuader,
In business, we have rules of decorum, obviously, but I am of the opinion that some rules were meant to be bent. Not broken entirely, but molded and bent to suit your persuasive needs.
Part of “professional decorum” is not getting “too personal”. But I contend that personal is exactly what people crave.
Storytelling is an art, as much of life is. Being creative within the context of a business relationship is an amazing way to make and keep lifelong clients and customers.
Something that creates a sense of rapport in a very fast and powerful way is the statement, ‘Let me share a secret with you. . .’ Hmm. A secret? Doesn’t everyone want to know a secret? Doesn’t it make you feel “special” to know that you’re about to be one of the special few that will know this information?
Working ‘secrets’ and personal anecdotes (nothing absurd, but definitely pointed and geared toward the matter at hand) speeds up our client’s and prospect’s trust in us as the answer to their needs.
In seminars I often share personal stories from my youth. I have even been known to really open up about some mistakes I’ve made in the past as they relate to persuasion in terms of not really completely understanding that honesty and integrity have always got to be the highest things on the list. These are very difficult stories for me to recount because I’m not particularly proud of tactics I used as a young man. It’s not pleasant to relate things that I feel are real blotches on my personal inventory. And yet, because I have learned from my past, overcome incongruencies in my way of existing in the world, a little discomfort can be endured because I’m making a point, teaching a lesson on what to do and what *not* to do.
When I get into the more personal aspects of teaching like this, I also make sure to step outside of the first person and enter into a meta state to explain how this personal storytelling can really be an art.
When you think about it, you can be an artist at nearly anything. You can be an artist at creating amazing friendships. You can be an artist in business. You can be an artist of persuasion. Some of our creativity within certain arenas is natural. . . we’ve got it to start with and we can make magical things happen as a result of it. Other things are learned. I wasn’t born the persuader I am today. I have put years and years into my art and each and every day I wake up and realize what all that hard work has done for me.
My suggestion. . . find a personal story that relates to your business and start relating it to your prospects and clients. Watch how this quickens rapport and trust by magnitudes. We all crave a good story.
Until Next Time,
Kenrick E. Cleveland
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