Have you ever been blown away by a magician’s act?

By persuasion news July 29th, 2011 Self Persuasion 2 Comments

Here is a question I get from time-to-time and just got it again, so thought I’d answer it here on the blog. It comes from one of our readers named George.

I’m very curious Kenrick with no offense.

If you are a masterful communicator and can persuade others to take action with hypnotic language.what stopped you from doing that with yourself years ago with the weight issue?

I’m glad your healthier

Hi George,

Well… many times, while experiencing what I do, people exclaim – “Jesus – incredible“… and in that moment, I’m always reminded of the fact that I have not yet arrived at that level.

I have many failings – I have failed to implement a strategy to create the kind of net worth I should have by now, I’ve not always made the best choices in women (past tense), still occasionally find myself getting ticked off when a taxi driver cuts me off on the road and even though I’ve made significant progress, have not yet mastered my weight/fitness.

In fact, there are SO many areas that I have failed to master that I think I might need at least several more lifetimes – but alas, I still may not reach all that is possible. That is the bitter sweet reality of life. We can always strive to be better, and we will never reach all that is possible.

Even something as obvious as using my programming skills on myself is not as obvious as it might seem. Have you ever been blown away by a magician’s act? Perhaps the magician literally disappeared something right in front of you. You were amazed. And then, later on, you learned the trick… and you were equally amazed at how you didn’t see what he was really doing at the time. It lost it’s magic. Ever experienced that? You will find quite a corollary to your question there.

The one thing I am, is always reaching for the brass ring. You know, like they used to have on the old Merry-Go-Rounds? If you were lucky and could get on a horse on the outside, you could reach for that ring. If you got it, you’d get a free ride. Even though I didn’t get the ring every time I tried (in fact, I only occasionally got it), it didn’t prevent me from excitedly trying.

The lesson is, that it was the enjoyment of the ride where the focus belongs, not the failure to get the ring. And as a kid, I couldn’t wait to ride again.

All the things that I could count as failures, along with my successes, have created who I am today. I know who I am. And I know who I am not. I am not Jesus and ask not that you blindly follow. I have my faults and limitations. And I have my strengths and expertise.

Far as I can tell, there is no one alive today who has mastered it all. If you should find a person who claims they have, run.

As to learning the inner workings of persuasion, I can and do pull back the curtain to the magic and show how it works. More importantly you can learn how to do wondrous magic when you want. It will then be your task as well to apply it to your own life. It is worth the effort – but only you can determine where to aim your attention to reap the rewards you most want.

I hope this helps clear up the mystery.

And thanks for writing and asking. I’m glad I’m healthier too.
Kenrick

P.S. Please let me know what you think. Leave a comment below.

Other Than Conscious Self – Part One

By kim October 8th, 2010 Self Persuasion 19 Comments

Dear Persuader,

Do you have a name for your Other Than Conscious self?

What a great way to start a relationship with it. After all, would you want to be largely ignored and without a name your whole life?

Start thinking in terms of two selves living in your body. Actually there are 3.

Let’s start with your Other Than Conscious

Some names it has been referred to over time are:

Subconscious Basic Self Deep Self Intuitive Self Inner Self Real Self And the great, copy writing legend Gary Bencivenga calls it his “Gentle Giant”.

Your Other Than Conscious self is best thought of as an independent entity.

It is very literal. And it is subject to suggestion.

The Other Than Conscious is the store house of your memories.

It has the power of deductive logic only.

It controls your autonomic bodily functions.

Based on the input it has been given, it is your “conscience”. In other words it is in charge of what you believe is right and wrong. Another good definition of conscience is, “it is a conviction or being conscious of a custom”. Through repetition and emotion these customs become ingrained and automatically depended upon to supply beliefs of right and wrong.

Your Other Than Conscious generates all your emotions.

It is the self that has connections to other people and places. And It is also said to have the power of telepathy. We’ll leave these for a later discussion.

Ok, now that you have a relatively complete picture of the Other Than Conscious self, let’s look at a few things.

You can begin to get ahead much faster and easier in life if you align with this self. Treating it like a trusted child is one really good way to begin the process.

If you do not have rapport with it, you will experience life as if you are constantly being sabotaged. So gaining and maintaining rapport with this self is critical to living a happy, fulfilling and easy life.

That said, it’s not necessarily easy. In a way, it is like a puppy who is untrained – then grew into an adolescent. It has it’s ways and beliefs and just waking up one morning and treating it nice will not cause the puppy to behave as you might wish. Yes, the puppy loves you but still wants to do what it has always done.

This is another way of saying it can be stubborn. Don’t believe me? Tried losing weight or changing a habit or trying to change to a more healthy partner type as your preference? Now you are beginning to get the picture.

So where to start. Well, start as you would any relationship. Talk, be respectful. Show it with words and pictures the things you like and would like to become.

Here’s something important – your Other Than Conscious self depends on the 5 senses for data input!

Some final points for this post:

1. It is with the Other Than Conscious selves of others that we need to have rapport with, if we are to persuade. These are where the rapport strategies are aimed that I teach.

2. it is this self that is suggestible. The issue is getting past the gate keeper which is very easily done when you know how. Thus, studying how to deliver suggestions is part and parcel to becoming a great persuader.

3. It is in your own life where you will reap the fastest rewards. Apply what you are learning to yourself first. Gain the trust and respect of your Other Than Conscious self and watch your results soar. Just remember, it is a process. And I’ll help you learn it as we proceed.

4. One of the best tools you can start using immediately is directed day dreaming. (Think Einstein riding on a beam of light.) This is best done in a learning state of mind such as you enter when meditating etc.

5. Consider giving this self a name. Don’t do this lightly. Remember, a good name can get you far. And you might consider keeping this name private for now at least. Consider carefully what names it might like. Reflect on them as you narrow them down. Then go with your gut instinct as you choose the one that fits best.

6. Love and accept your Other Than Conscious self. Really – I’m not being funny. Woo it. Praise it. Reward it. Most importantly, start now!

7. Remember that this is a process and takes time. Rome wasn’t built in a day – neither were your beliefs, attitudes and conscience. It will take some work and dedication. Just remember and keep in mind what you are playing for… an incredibly happy, fulfilling and easy life where people automatically look up to you, respect you, accept your suggestions and look forward to doing business with you. Not to mention the respect and incredible love you will have for yourself. Not bad stakes to play for, right?

Ok, let me know your thoughts on this. If you like it, I’ll get into the powers and role of the conscious mind next and how you can easily learn how to use it’s superior reasoning powers to your advantage to more quickly bring your Other Than Conscious self eagerly running to participate.

Keep studying and practicing.

Kenrick

Dancing with Fear

By kim July 26th, 2010 Self Persuasion 5 Comments

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”  ~NELSON MANDELA

Dear Persuader,

I noticed a sticker on the back of a truck recently. “No Fear” it said.  I thought it a bit arrogant and silly.  Our core drives of fight and flight are predicated upon the fact that there ARE in fact things out there in the world to fear.

If we’re walking down a dark alley at night and hear footsteps or screaming, we need our fear to jump start that adrenalin.  If we’re out in the woods camping and something starts to growl deeply at us, we’re going to want that fear to kick in.

And how about a near miss while driving?  I once had an experience while on my motorcycle that got that jolt of electricity and that ‘hell, it’s good to be alive’ feeling afterward.  These are physical fears. Fear of being mugged, mauled, hurt, hit. . . but what about fears that prevent you from doing things?

These are really the things we should concentrate on having “no fear” about.  It’s not about hang gliding or dare deviling, but about taking the real risks in life that cause growth to happen.

Emotional fear is most definitely something that can hold people back.  It can stop us from using our persuasion abilities in a tough spot, it can prevent us from following up on sales calls or reaching out to prospects.  It can prevent us from reaching out and connecting to a significant other for fear of getting hurt.

Pushing through this fear will give you more levels of bravery and fearlessness.  It takes you past something which once was difficult into a new paradigm of potential.

Most fears are beliefs which you think are true.  Not which are true, but which you think are true.  They can stem from an emotional paralysis leaving you feeling as if you have no choice in the experience of the fear itself.

Fear is a feeling. It is not a state of events.

I once saw an exhibit of “outsider art” where one of the projects was created by a developmentally disabled man by the name of Michael Bernard Loggins. It eventually became a book called “Fears of Your Life”.

This is an incredible exploration of the things we (humans) have the capacity to be afraid of from the tangible to the utterly absurd.

My advice to you is to create your own book of fears or at the very least, a top ten or top twenty list.  Assess yourself honestly in this. . . maybe it’s a fear of clowns, that’s okay, maybe it’s public speaking, that’s a big one.

I’ve known many people who had potential but were afraid to succeed. This one is not in my realm of comprehension because I strive for success, but it’s very real and stunts the growth of many people.

Now that you’ve got your list, it’s time to identify which are rational, i.e. stemming from a real threat, and fears which are irrational, i.e. clowns.

This is really about facing your fears and your blockages to growth.

To overcome them, try the EFT method of tapping them out (if they seem to be stunting your progress) or meditate on them and realize where they may be holding you back and how very possible it is for you to conquer them.

To your continued success!

Kenrick

Magnetism: Not Just For Animals

By kim June 10th, 2010 Abundance, Self Persuasion No Comments

A very spiritual woman I know shared the following with me: she said, ‘I used to have unfortunate beliefs about myself and I received back from external influences unfortunate results. When I decided to take control and raise my resonance, to be the change I wanted to become, to allow abundance and love come flow through me, absolutely everything fell into place. I am now living a life of leisure with a beautiful husband and I can draw what I want into my universe at will.’

What does it take to be a love magnet, or a money magnet, or a health magnet?

It takes a shift in perception and really, that’s all it takes.

We choose what to focus on. We choose to be really bummed out when it rains, or we choose to appreciate the downpour as a great opportunity to take care of indoor activities, or even better, to leave the umbrella at home and go for a walk. One person’s inconvenience is another’s puddle splashing fun.

When we focus on good, good comes to us. When we focus on grief, we grieve. This is not to say there’s no place for grief in life, it’s just to say, we need to be mindful that we’re not suffering over our own suffering. We do not need to be grief magnets.

I overheard a girl in a café the other day telling her friend, ‘I’m a freak magnet. I can’t leave my apartment without running into someone either clinically insane or whacked out on drugs or fanatical about some weirdness who wants to have extensive interaction with me.’

The friend responded, ‘That’s so strange. You live in a really nice place, in a really nice neighborhood. You wouldn’t think there’d be that many weirdoes around.’

‘They’re everywhere I am. It’s like they’re out there waiting for me to leave my house just so they can shout in my face or try to get me to join their cult.’

I thought to myself how awful it was for this girl to have this belief about herself, that no matter where she goes, no matter what she’s doing, she’s going to draw the lowest common denominator to her.

This is really how attraction works. What you think about yourself, you are. What you believe about the world, is your reality. What you speak, is your truth.

I almost wanted to say to her, ‘You know, you could just as easily not be a ‘freak magnet’ by simply telling yourself that you’re another kind of magnet.’ Then I realized that, sadly, my intrusion would only further confirm her self-diagnosis and she’d misinterpret my advice as more freakery, as in, ‘Yeah, this guy came up to me in the café and told me to be another kind of magnet. He looked pretty normal, but what a freak!’

So whatever your beliefs are about the world, I implore you, take this freak’s advice and adjust it to bring you all that you ever wanted and not the lowest common denominator.

Kenrick

PS… Be sure to post your comments and thoughts on the blog.

Determine The Sum of Your Values

By kim May 27th, 2010 Eliciting Criteria, Persuasion Fundamentals, Self Persuasion No Comments

Dear Persuader,

“Our value is the sum of our values.”   –Joe Batten

This is a great process that will help you in your persuasion skills. I think you’ll find it quite interesting.

I’ve always said that if you want to make advancements in your persuasion ability, you need to make advancements in yourself. This is advancement.

What we’re going to do is get our top values and put them in rank order. It’s pretty easy to do, and in future articles we’re going to take this on to new and interesting levels for you and then show you how you can use it to help persuade.

I’m just going to give you some examples of core values and please, feel free to add to the list.

• Honesty
• Freedom
• Security
• Passion
• Freedom
• Recognition
• Integrity
• Health
• Family
• Spouse
• Friends
• Spirituality
• Money
• Love
• Success
• Recognition
• Education
• Self improvement
• Adventure
• Fun
• Financial independence
• Variety
• Knowledge
• Self actualization
• Wisdom
• Accomplishment
• Power

Notice that happiness is missing… that’s because happiness is not a value but what will come if the core value is actualized.

Now, we’re going to put them in rank order. Take the top ten from the above list and with the ones you’ve added in and from there we’ll determine the top five in this way: Say your list, in no particular order is, health, love, money, passion, freedom, knowledge, wisdom, friends, accomplishment, recognition. These are your top ten core values.

We’ll start with health and move through the list. If you could have either perfect health and no love or you could have perfect love and no health, which would you choose? We’ll just randomly choose health for the sake of this example. So if you could have the best health or all the money you wanted, which would you choose? And we’ll choose health again. Okay, if you could have perfect health and no freedom or absolute freedom and poor health?

In this way, we go through the list to determine the top five.

What’s the value in this, you might ask. Well, if a sales professional had these top five values, (security, wealth, family), do you think they might be able to effectively interweave your security, wealth and family into the conversation about their product or service?

Of course, this isn’t information that we readily give out to everyone, nor do we elicit our prospect’s values, but what are we doing when we elicit criteria? We’re eliciting their specific values/criteria as they relate to the situation we’re asking about.

Eliciting criteria is one of the most effective ways to connect your prospect with what you’re selling.  It’s easy to do and once you really get the hang of it… it’s really fun!

Happy persuading,

Kenrick