Anticipation is Making Me Wait

An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing.” — Samuel Smiles

Hi Persuader,

I’ve always been an instant gratification kind of guy. When I’m hungry, I want to eat. When I’m thirsty, I want some water. When I’m in traffic, I want to be moving. And when I’m persuading, I want it to work, immediately, if not sooner.

But lately, I’ve been understanding and even enjoying the benefits of delayed gratification and anticipation. In visiting a Latin American country such as the one where I find myself, life does not move at the speed of Starbucks. Life moves with a rhythm and tempo of the people, of the earth, of the seasons. It’s taking a huge internal shift, one which I’m alternately struggling with and relishing as quite enjoyable and expansive. Letting go of the controlled chaos of the big city life of Seattle and its outskirts, and moving into the speed of this life I am now experiencing has been the biggest adjustment and challenge and has expanded my frame of the world immeasurably.

When the air is dense with humidity, the temperature is in the upper 80s, 90s, higher, movement becomes more languid, like you’ve just entered a steam room. You can almost imagine fish swimming by your face in the thick air as you walk through the streets like in a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel. Siestas become almost mandatory when the sun is at its high point. Work gets done in the morning and at night.

This is not at all a suggestion to slow down or relent any in your persuasion studies or in your work, however, as I suggested in a previous article about getting out of your comfort zone of familiarity, there are also benefits to speeding up or slowing down the tempo of your life to further embed and deepen your learning and expand the frames within which you find yourself.

I had a friend once who told me, ‘I can’t meditate. I’ve just got too much going on in my mind. I don’t think it’s for me to just sit there and not think.’ But when I asked her what she ‘thought’ about when she was on her treadmill or elliptical machine, she said, ‘I don’t think at all.’

It’s a matter of taste, I suppose. Many people are comfortable with the adrenal charged experience of a big city. Many people couldn’t live any place with more than one stop sign and any sign of traffic or commotion sends them into a panic. Some people can switch between worlds and have developed a comfort in all types of settings, and I believe this versatility is the hallmark of a good persuader. Persuasion is truly about being a chameleon and experiencing the differences that places and people have to offer, even if that means slowing yourself down for a time or quickening your pace. This is most definitely a tool that will serve you well to practice with.

So as I take a little bit of my own medicine and develop a taste for anticipation and delayed gratification, I hope you too will challenge yourself with a different pace for periods of time.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

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Dr Bill Toth - December 17, 2008

[quote comment=""]Kenrick – Just like your example of the woman on treadmill – people uncnsciously practice “time distortion” regularly….and some even use it consciously….like prolonging an intimate moment…..or are onlly aware of it briefly like when getting off an exit ramp from a hghway and then feeling like you’re going soooo slow…and of course… this time of year many impose anticipation upon their children….”persuading” them to do any number of things because “santa is coming”…you better be good..or….

I love human beings they are soooo fascinating.

Enjoy your slow time

Live With Intention
Bill Toth

Chong Xin Yun Seth - December 17, 2008

Dear Kenrick,

Have you watched the movie, “The Last Samurai?”

Being surrounded by an adrenal charged, less genuine and often materialistic reality – we’re pushed to adapt and live according the the perceived way of living even though it doesn’t resonate with our values.

As we get into another environment or place, where we’re entirely free to let go for a while, take a rest, re-energize ourselves before we put our focus into work again, things seem to be different.

There’s more meaning, value and satisfaction from doing what we focus on.

In fact, we might just come back a new man. Better than before.

In this case, instant gratification doesn’t become as strong as before.

We have the confidence and calmness in us which helps us be at ease even though we don’t have the instant gratification. When we get delayed gratification, it becomes a reward instead of a must-have. And rewards always tend to have more value, especially when we have hold it in our minds for some time and finally get it.

It’s, different.

Chong Xin Yun Seth

David Cavanagh - December 27, 2008


It’s been a long time my friend!

I hope that 2009 will deliver you an even better year than 2008… a new year that’ll catapult your business to a higher level than ever before.

I’m living in Thailand now… have been for the last 5 years… seems like yesterday we used to talk together… maybe we should do it some more in 2009, I think you’ll agree.

Take care, and we’ll talk sooner than later I trust!

David Cavanagh


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