Bad Persuasion Exposed
Dear Persuader,
In an email a few days ago, I said, “It would almost be funny, if it didn’t have such a catastrophic impact. Never before has the skill of persuasion been more necessary. In a world that has quickly gone from consumerism to thrift – if you don’t persuade, you don’t sell. Yet at the very same time, there’s been an explosion of persuasion advice – all with different opinions, different approaches and different theories, leaving potential persuaders in a quagmire of sorts… because it’s never been more necessary and it’s never been more confusing.”
Then today while perusing facebook I see a glaring example of just this sort of thing.
Here is a quote from a provider of persuasion advice (whom I do really like and respect):
“I am most passionate in win-win scenario’s as I have always worked on this basis, everyone has to gain but more importantly to enjoy every moment of the process. Have you ever found yourself being sold to or seduced for that matter only to find out how you enticed and increased the speed of the sale? As you become aware of the numerous techniques I can show you why its important to recognise the ethics in creating sustainable relationships for all involved.”
Look again at this line:
“As you become aware of the numerous techniques I can show you why its important to recognise the ethics in creating sustainable relationships for all involved.”
Does it sound convoluted to you? Would you want to write like that to your prospective customers or your friends or family? I’ll explain what he is trying to do in a moment and why it doesn’t work, but first…
Yesterday was the big day for our teleconference where I threw down the gauntlet for myself and promised to eliminate any confusion, dispel any doubts, expose any and all lies, and put you on a path to powerful (and ethical) persuasion absolutely free.
You have no idea how excited I was to do this call with you, but alas the “God of technology” ruled against me. Try as I might, I could not connect to the call. So, we rescheduled the call for tonight at 8:00 PM Eastern. If you have not yet asked your question, go ahead and do so now and you can still get on this call and the bill is on us. I do intend to sell this once done but this is your chance to get this information gratis.
The call in issue is resolved and barring some other catastrophe, the call will go on as scheduled. 🙂
Just go here to ask your question:
https://www.maxpersuasion.com/teleseminar
Ok, back to what our guy tried to do in our example above.
And before I give you my analysis, let me just say that this is a good person. I know he means well. This could have been an oversight or simply not understanding how it impacts people in writing as opposed to speaking. Moreover, I just learned he is planning to be on our call tonight (of course he’s welcome) and I hope he takes this in the spirit it is offered.
The first thing he did was clumsily use an implied cause and effect language pattern (As X, Y). “As you become aware of the numerous techniques I can show you…” Note this is just stuck in the copy and sticks out like a sore thumb. It is not elegant, nor is it persuasive.
This is the antithesis of good persuasion.
Here’s the thing… many of the several hundred questions I got centered around concerns of how to sound normal and not manipulative. And I’m going to talk about that in our call tonight. You will want to hear what I have to say on this.
Let me show you how he could have used that pattern to create a good result, one that would have not turned off the majority of those who read it.
He could have said, As you become aware of the numerous techniques that can help you ethically move your clients to enjoy agreeing with you, you’ll watch your income shoot upward.
Do you see the difference? It’s implied that the person who wrote it can help you. You don’t need to hit the reader over the head.
Ok, one more pattern for you.
He wrote:
“As you become aware of the numerous techniques I can show you why its important to recognise the ethics in creating sustainable relationships for all involved.”
If you look at the sentence as a whole, he is attempting to use another more advanced pattern called sentence structure ambiguity. In essence this is combining two sentences. Here they are:
“As you become aware of the numerous techniques I can show you…”
and:
“…I can show you why its important to recognise the ethics in creating sustainable relationships for all involved.”
It uses the words “I can show you” as the end of one sentence and the beginning of the next.
This pattern doesn’t work well in writing! It looks “tricky”, confuses the reader, lowers response by encouraging them to click off the page and worst of all diminishes rapport.
Probably not what you want to do.
But unfortunately this is what you, dear reader are forced to sort through these days.
There is of course an easy answer.
Ok, my intention today is to show you how to take something that misses the mark somewhat and turn it around to make it work better. You’ll be amazed what you can do when you know how.
Let’s end anything that is holding you back from getting people to choose you.
Join me tonight. Just click here to ask your question.
https://www.maxpersuasion.com/teleseminar
Talk soon,
Kenrick