Dancing with Fear

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”  ~NELSON MANDELA

Dear Persuader,

I noticed a sticker on the back of a truck recently. “No Fear” it said.  I thought it a bit arrogant and silly.  Our core drives of fight and flight are predicated upon the fact that there ARE in fact things out there in the world to fear.

If we’re walking down a dark alley at night and hear footsteps or screaming, we need our fear to jump start that adrenalin.  If we’re out in the woods camping and something starts to growl deeply at us, we’re going to want that fear to kick in.

And how about a near miss while driving?  I once had an experience while on my motorcycle that got that jolt of electricity and that ‘hell, it’s good to be alive’ feeling afterward.  These are physical fears. Fear of being mugged, mauled, hurt, hit. . . but what about fears that prevent you from doing things?

These are really the things we should concentrate on having “no fear” about.  It’s not about hang gliding or dare deviling, but about taking the real risks in life that cause growth to happen.

Emotional fear is most definitely something that can hold people back.  It can stop us from using our persuasion abilities in a tough spot, it can prevent us from following up on sales calls or reaching out to prospects.  It can prevent us from reaching out and connecting to a significant other for fear of getting hurt.

Pushing through this fear will give you more levels of bravery and fearlessness.  It takes you past something which once was difficult into a new paradigm of potential.

Most fears are beliefs which you think are true.  Not which are true, but which you think are true.  They can stem from an emotional paralysis leaving you feeling as if you have no choice in the experience of the fear itself.

Fear is a feeling. It is not a state of events.

I once saw an exhibit of “outsider art” where one of the projects was created by a developmentally disabled man by the name of Michael Bernard Loggins. It eventually became a book called “Fears of Your Life”.

This is an incredible exploration of the things we (humans) have the capacity to be afraid of from the tangible to the utterly absurd.

My advice to you is to create your own book of fears or at the very least, a top ten or top twenty list.  Assess yourself honestly in this. . . maybe it’s a fear of clowns, that’s okay, maybe it’s public speaking, that’s a big one.

I’ve known many people who had potential but were afraid to succeed. This one is not in my realm of comprehension because I strive for success, but it’s very real and stunts the growth of many people.

Now that you’ve got your list, it’s time to identify which are rational, i.e. stemming from a real threat, and fears which are irrational, i.e. clowns.

This is really about facing your fears and your blockages to growth.

To overcome them, try the EFT method of tapping them out (if they seem to be stunting your progress) or meditate on them and realize where they may be holding you back and how very possible it is for you to conquer them.

To your continued success!


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