Exposing the Core

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” — Pablo Picasso

Hi Persuader,

Sometimes in persuasion, the thing to do is to get provocative. I’m not talking about being inappropriate or crass, I’m not talking about being overtly sexual, but I am suggesting that you access the core drives a little, those primal drives that link each and every one of us as human animals, and specifically I’m thinking of the drive to reproduce.

Seduction need not be limited to the realm of mating or luring someone away from accepted principles or proper conduct. Being seductive in all aspects of your life is really a very deeply persuasive attribute. Being seductive is to win over and attract, enticing someone into our desired mindset or position.

Someone once told me that they flirt with everyone — men, women, all ages, all nationalities, all shapes and sizes, all the time. This struck me as deeply odd until I realized they were not flirting in the sense that they were looking to ‘hook up’ (as the kids put it) but to charm. Once I reframed it in my mind, I realized that this is a great way to be in the world. How fascinating it is to allow everyone you come into contact with the deeply charming version of you which is usually reserved for attractive person you’re trying to “get closer to”, so to speak.

Here’s another way to view this: it’s rapport with a twist.

Now, this isn’t for everyone. For example, for women, this can be a rather messy can of worms if not done with very clear boundaries. Men are highly susceptible to being flirted with or being charmed and the best bet is to be extremely obvious that this is how you interact with everyone, not just them.

Everyone loves to be given special attention and this form of rapport and criteria elicitation incites that very delightful feeling of being given that special attention.

Here’s another way to access this powerful motivator. Insert into your conversation words of a titillating variety. This is a roundabout way of stimulating these drives that will give sometimes vague, sometimes intense triggers of that core drive.

Phew. . . sorry about that. I was just giving an example and got a little carried away, but now you get the idea.

Don’t go too off the charts with this one or people might think you’re creepy, but there is great benefit in turning on the lights and bringing these things out into the open to expose how they can turn us into better persuaders.

So while I may not exactly admit to being a flirt, I will say that I do enjoy the process of charming as a way to persuade and, in general, a way to make people feel good.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 2 comments
Jim - June 4, 2008

I suppose that charisma is the ability to radiate charm that some how touches the core of other peoples emotions.

Gail - June 5, 2008

I have had a problem with it until I got that it is not about trying to get something from anyone, but as one of my favorite teachers puts it, you are just enjoying yourself in the presence of another person. It doesn’t involve smouldering stares, speaking in a low, sexy voice, or showing cleavage (for a woman) or any of that stuff. All you are doing is looking someone in the eyes, sharing your joie de vivre, and giving the other person the benefit of it. You can sincerely appreciate the person behind the counter giving you your morning espresso as in -hey, nice shirt! where did you get it?-you give them the full force of your pleasure, attention and appreciation, then..you walk away. No looking back to see if they follow. (Sometimes they do!) But the key is that it is not about them-it’s about YOUR feelings of pleasure! And people will pick up on this, that they are not being hustled for something, and they will be free to respond with equal pleasure.


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