Exposing the Core
“It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” — Pablo Picasso
Sometimes in persuasion, the thing to do is to get provocative. I’m not talking about being inappropriate or crass, I’m not talking about being overtly sexual, but I am suggesting that you access the core drives a little, those primal drives that link each and every one of us as human animals, and specifically I’m thinking of the drive to reproduce.
Seduction need not be limited to the realm of mating or luring someone away from accepted principles or proper conduct. Being seductive in all aspects of your life is really a very deeply persuasive attribute. Being seductive is to win over and attract, enticing someone into our desired mindset or position.
Someone once told me that they flirt with everyone — men, women, all ages, all nationalities, all shapes and sizes, all the time. This struck me as deeply odd until I realized they were not flirting in the sense that they were looking to ‘hook up’ (as the kids put it) but to charm. Once I reframed it in my mind, I realized that this is a great way to be in the world. How fascinating it is to allow everyone you come into contact with the deeply charming version of you which is usually reserved for attractive person you’re trying to “get closer to”, so to speak.
Here’s another way to view this: it’s rapport with a twist.
Now, this isn’t for everyone. For example, for women, this can be a rather messy can of worms if not done with very clear boundaries. Men are highly susceptible to being flirted with or being charmed and the best bet is to be extremely obvious that this is how you interact with everyone, not just them.
Everyone loves to be given special attention and this form of rapport and criteria elicitation incites that very delightful feeling of being given that special attention.
Here’s another way to access this powerful motivator. Insert into your conversation words of a titillating variety. This is a roundabout way of stimulating these drives that will give sometimes vague, sometimes intense triggers of that core drive.
Phew. . . sorry about that. I was just giving an example and got a little carried away, but now you get the idea.
Don’t go too off the charts with this one or people might think you’re creepy, but there is great benefit in turning on the lights and bringing these things out into the open to expose how they can turn us into better persuaders.
So while I may not exactly admit to being a flirt, I will say that I do enjoy the process of charming as a way to persuade and, in general, a way to make people feel good.
Until Next Time,
Kenrick E. Cleveland