We didn’t all grow up affluent. I know for a fact that several of my students, in fact, are literally rags to riches stories. Through single-minded perseverance, intention, education, hard work, and maybe a little luck, they have created financial universes for themselves that are quite enviable and outstanding.
But what obstacles internally needed to be overcome to attain an unselfconscious relationship with affluence and their super affluent clientele? It’s so individualized a journey. Many people who grew up in poverty, once they’ve attained a degree of comfort still cannot let go of their fear of scarcity. One example of this came from a student whose father grew up during the depression and, as if that weren’t difficult enough, became an orphan at the age of thirteen.
His father’s feelings of guilt at the loss of his mother, his being accustomed to having very little, and then feeling the shame of ‘charity’ in the form of foster parents stayed with him despite his success in later life as a business owner, general contractor and property owner in the very advantageous market of the Bay Area in the 70s and 80s.
So my student grew up with a beautiful house, always had a refrigerator full of food, always had the clothes and necessities of life, and even had his hobbies indulged to an extent. But his father’s ‘tightness’ with money which was seemingly so free flowing, created a real conflict in him in relation to money and this conflict has resulted in very real obstacles in how my student interacts with his affluent clientele. He, despite all his comfort in life, developed a real scarcity fear as well which in turn creates a social and class self-consciousness.
Unfortunately, this social self-consciousness thwarts a fluid relationship with affluence and the affluent and it definitely needs to be overcome.
The first step is coming to the realization that there is no shame in abundance, there is no scarcity of affluence and there is no social self-consciousness that can’t be overcome. Think about it. If we are, as I truly believe, here on this planet to learn and thrive, we need to redirect whatever shame has held us back into a new signal.
And once we are right with ourselves, our social confidence, no matter what income level, will skyrocket and we will be able to very naturally enter into any social or business interaction with ease.
I would love to hear your stories of any struggles you’ve endured in your relationship to affluence, any success stories of how social ‘standing’ or ‘position’ held you back and how you reframed yourself as completely worthy of absolutely everything, and what exercises or strategies you used to attain this level of comfort with affluence.
Until Next Time,
Kenrick E. Cleveland