We didn’t all grow up affluent. I know for a fact that several of my students, in fact, are literally rags to riches stories. Through single-minded perseverance, intention, education, hard work, and maybe a little luck, they have created financial universes for themselves that are quite enviable and outstanding.
But what obstacles internally needed to be overcome to attain an unselfconscious relationship with affluence and their super affluent clientele? It’s so individualized a journey. Many people who grew up in poverty, once they’ve attained a degree of comfort still cannot let go of their fear of scarcity. One example of this came from a student whose father grew up during the depression and, as if that weren’t difficult enough, became an orphan at the age of thirteen.
His father’s feelings of guilt at the loss of his mother, his being accustomed to having very little, and then feeling the shame of ‘charity’ in the form of foster parents stayed with him despite his success in later life as a business owner, general contractor and property owner in the very advantageous market of the Bay Area in the 70s and 80s.
So my student grew up with a beautiful house, always had a refrigerator full of food, always had the clothes and necessities of life, and even had his hobbies indulged to an extent. But his father’s ‘tightness’ with money which was seemingly so free flowing, created a real conflict in him in relation to money and this conflict has resulted in very real obstacles in how my student interacts with his affluent clientele. He, despite all his comfort in life, developed a real scarcity fear as well which in turn creates a social and class self-consciousness.
Unfortunately, this social self-consciousness thwarts a fluid relationship with affluence and the affluent and it definitely needs to be overcome.
The first step is coming to the realization that there is no shame in abundance, there is no scarcity of affluence and there is no social self-consciousness that can’t be overcome. Think about it. If we are, as I truly believe, here on this planet to learn and thrive, we need to redirect whatever shame has held us back into a new signal.
And once we are right with ourselves, our social confidence, no matter what income level, will skyrocket and we will be able to very naturally enter into any social or business interaction with ease.
I would love to hear your stories of any struggles you’ve endured in your relationship to affluence, any success stories of how social ‘standing’ or ‘position’ held you back and how you reframed yourself as completely worthy of absolutely everything, and what exercises or strategies you used to attain this level of comfort with affluence.
Until Next Time,
Kenrick E. Cleveland
Well Kenrick, you’ve really hit a nerve here with ” Me” this time. Over the last couple of years I have come to recognize deep seated subconscious patterns of lack. It was discovered during a class of “spiritual psychology”(in 05) in which the students traced their lives from childhood to that present time to unveil any potential conditioning which may be limiting a fuller, abundant expression of life. When I reflected on the fact that “scarcity” was almost a god in my environment, it was like a sudden shock of mental combustion. I grew up in an urban inner Northeastern city. Statistically, the area was classified as poverty level.Public, government subsidized housing comprised of 75% of all housing there. Most of my peers were on public assistance of some form. I was not. My mom raised me during the 50’s and early 60’s until I went to the Marines. Her checks were in the range of $ 60.00 for a 40 hour week. I know this because she told me repeatedly how terribly difficult it was to “make ends meet”. No one (except for maybe a handful of people) in my neighborhood who did work, went to work in “regular” clothing. Most people did dirty (yet honest) work.
My point in all of this is there were -no models of affluence- to be found anywhere. There were merchants, usually of a different heritage than I. Some were of similar heritage, yet my instructions were always to “get a good wage with benefits”. THAT was “making it”.
When I discovered commission sales in my early 20’s, after “NAM”, I was hooked. It was in that environment that I began to learn of Napoleon Hill, Andrew Carnegie, Earl Nightingale(spelling ?) and others. Those whom I still associated with couldn’t really relate. My environment really didn’t change. I was beginning to. I relocated across country to a luxurious desert lifestyle. Yet I still feel the pangs of the conditioning that took place in my life for so long and often experience a false sense of “less than” which I’m now more aware of. Finally, to add to this formulaic mayhem, a collective ignorant consciousness has prevailed in this country (and worldwide)among many that people of African descent were created inferior.Therefore automatically,many of my unconscious patterns were formed due to a socialogical stigmitation which many in my own ethnic category,after a few hundred years of being sold on that pathological lie,are just beginning to see as a distorted representation of fact. NOTHING could be further from the truth. Yet Right Now in our society it’s still not an assumption by the majority that “all men are created equal” nor is that “pursuit of happiness” (affluence et al) generally expected to be enjoyed by all.So I definately have to “remind myself” of who I am. A Powerful Self-Affirming being of Noble and Great Destiny ! It works “most” of the time.